The Vienna Sausage Brigade

BY KENNY BELFORD

It’s now official. Gov. Mary Fallin, winner of the “Sheeples’ Choice Award,” has now signed into law the open-carry bill.

It’s now legal, perhaps even socially acceptable, to get your six-shooter and boldly strap it on your hip before you head out for some errand running.

At least according to state Sen. Ralph Shortey, R-Oklahoma City, you’ll now have a much higher chance of survival when you encounter one of those wild turkeys he’s so afraid of.

The bill’s author, Sen. Anthony Sykes, R-Moore, said “the purpose of the measure was to have a well-regulated militia and support the right of the people to bear arms.”

So apparently we’re going to have a new militia patrolling our state. What should we call them?

The name of the other well-regulated militia, “The Oklahoma National Guard” is already taken.

The new militia needs a name, we can’t just call them “The Looney Wingnuts” – it’s not dignified or very intimidating.

Wait, I’ve got it! It’s perfect.

For all the under-endowed, ‘fraidy cats that will now show their stuff with their really big strapped on pistolas, let’s call them The Vienna Sausage Brigade.

As this new “well-regulated militia” assumes the responsibility to keep the rest of us non-pistola packing bratwurst dudes safe, we can all rest easier knowing that The Vienna Sausage Brigade has our back.

– Kenny Belford lives in Tulsa, OK and is a regular contributor to The Oklahoma Observer